Alyse

Fabulous Females Fest is now open over on primeval_canon, which means this month is all about celebrating the women of Primeval. We ran something like this in Jan last year, pushed it back to Feb this year because a) I was disorganised and b) I liked the alliteration ::g:: but then of course it tallies perfectly with the whole discussion that's been going on in fandom over the last two weeks or so about why women are underrepresented in fanfiction and the fact that thanks to vivien529 and taraljc, I've also just discovered halfamoon, which does the same sort of thing but for all fandoms and in the first two weeks of Feb.

I consider this to be auspicious ::g::

So I hope that at least some of the Primeval fans on my flist will consider doing something in relation to the female characters this month, whether it's meta, fanfic, recs, pics, vids, icons or anything else that takes your fancy. I know I have plans, but I've been battling a headache all day and my brains are currently dribbling out of my ears, so I'll have to come up with a coherent narrative some other time to tell you all about it.

Just a reminder that, I am offering fanfic in exchange for charitable donations over at help_haiti.

Fandoms I'm offering include Primeval, JPIII, Dark Angel, CI5: The New Professionals, Sahara, Anthropomorfic and various others I offered in the heat of the moment, but moonlettuce and temaris will no doubt assure you that actually I'm quite easy.

I'd say that came out wrong, but I'm not entirely sure it did.

So basically, if it's not listed and you would like and think I would do, feel free to ask before bidding.

Bidding closes tomorrow sometime - the time being American time, and therefore completely alien to me, but the comm should give you more info.

irrel drew this absolutely lovely picture of Abby and Connor, inspired apparently by Pride Goeth, a story from lil' ol' me!

It is gorgeous. Go tell her that!

Title: Christmas Caresses
Author: alyse
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing: Abby/Connor
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Author's Notes: Originally written as a treat for aithine for Yuletide 2009. Posted for Fluff Friday.

Summary: Christmas is a time for unwrapping all of your presents.

( Christmas Caresses )

As part of the fandom wide fund-raising effort to support the Haiti earthquake aid relief, I am offering fanfic in exchange for charitable donations over at help_haiti.

Fandoms I'm offering include Primeval, JPIII, Dark Angel, CI5: The New Professionals, Sahara, Anthropomorfic and various others I offered in the heat of the moment and have forgotten about. If you want something not on the list, you could always ask me here or PM me and I can tell you whether or not it's doable before you bid. Assuming you want to bid ::g::

Alternatively, if you don't see anything you want over on the list of fandoms I'm offering, and you're cold, I could knit you a scarf. Or even if you're not cold, I could knit you a scarf. I am a demon scarf knitter and I still have some lovely Atlantis colours wool. ::nods seriously::

Gakked from moonlettuce, because I am her pawn. Or prawn. I forget which.

If you could have me write a fic specifically for you, what would it be like? Fandom, characters/pairing, genre, plot elements, kinks (if applicable)...what's your ideal fic from me?

No promises for my fic-fu is often weak, but who knows. It might inspire me to write something less insane than some of the stuff wot I wrote last year.

(Also, it would be kind of cool to beat last year's word count.)

moonlettuce is threatening me with graboid porn.

make her stop

Title: Pride Goeth
Author: alyse
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/Characters: Abby and Connor (about as much Abby/Connor as there is in series 1 of the show)
Spoilers: None but set in series 1
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1,000
Author's Notes: Written as a comment_fic prompt for myfloralbonnet, who requested Primeval, Abby & Connor, four-leaf clover. I thought I'd hit the 4,300 character count exactly but it turns out that Word and LJ count them differently, so I had to take more characters out and then ended up posting it as two comments anyway. This is the slightly longer version before I'd cut more out, and edited for flow.

Thanks to temaris for the encouragement and look over last night.

Summary: The falling part is easy.

( Pride Goeth )

Title: Last Christmas
Author: alyse
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing: Nick/Stephen, canon references to Nick/Helen
Rating: PG13
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None - set pre-series
Author's Notes: Written as a treat for Claire (moonlettuce) for Yuletide 2009, who wanted Primeval and Nick/Stephen. I hope you enjoy it, Claire, and Merry Yule!

Many thanks to aithine for the beta.

Summary: The first Christmas after Helen disappeared, Nick bought her presents anyway.

( Last Christmas )

Title: Mistletoe Mishap
Author: alyse
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing: Abby/Connor
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Spoilers: Set in Series 3, but no major spoilers except for something that happens between Abby and Connor in 3.08
Author's Notes: Written as a treat for Cadhla for Yuletide 2009, who wanted Primeval and Abby/Connor.

Many thanks to aithine for the beta.

Summary: In life, there's always a time for planning and a time for being spontaneous. But sometimes plans go awry.

( Mistletoe Mishap )

Title: Woo The Day
Author: alyse
Recipient: Dessie / odessie
Fandom: Maid Marian and Her Merry Men
Pairing: Marian/Robin
Rating: G
Word Count: 5,674
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm pretty sure they belong to Tony Robinson and the BBC.
Author's Notes: I didn't offer this particular fandom in Yuletide this year - or have in any other year - but when I saw it on my list of recipient's requests I may have squeed a little and used it as an excuse to buy the rest of the boxed sets I'd been putting off. So thank you for that :)

Thanks to aithine for the beta.

Summary: Five times Robin tried to woo Marian, Sherwood style.

( Woo The Day )

Title: Holding Infinity
Author: alyse
Fandom: Alice (2009)
Pairing: Alice/Hatter
Rating: R
Word Count: 4,250
Warnings/Spoilers: No warnings. Vague spoilers for the end of Alice.
Disclaimer: Property of SyFy, not me
Author's Notes: For temaris, who fell in love with Alice, just as I did. And thanks go to temaris for the beta, as well.

Summary: Hatter takes to her world like a duck to water, a fish in a pond, and somehow it's Alice who's now out of her depth.

( Holding Infinity )

Unlike moonlettuce, I did not have an 'I must write 100,000 words this year' resolution, which is just as well, really, given my totally disappointing not as disappointing as I thought output. But I have shamelessly stolen the meme from her anyway.

( Fic Round-up )

So, that's a total of 80,500 words. Wow. That's a heck of a lot more words than I thought, helped by the two primevalathons and yuletide. I'm actually quite impressed by that. I had no idea I had written quite that many. Maybe I didn't fail as badly as I thought I had :)

( And the other portion of the meme )

Title: Watermarked
Author: alyse
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing: Abby/Connor
Rating: PG13
Warnings: None
Spoilers: End of Series 3
Author's Notes: Written as a pinch for twistedchick for Yuletide 2009, who wanted Primeval with many things, including personality and Abby tending an injured creature. I figured Connor counted for that. I hope you enjoy it, twistedchick, and Merry Yule!

Many thanks to aithine for the beta.

Summary: Connor turned his head and looked back, tired and drawn but alive and that was the miracle, the only miracle she needed.

( Watermarked )

So, now that the yuletide stories are no longer anonymous, I can do the reveal thing. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain ::g::

I was originally assigned to write for Dessie, matched on Press Gang. Much as I love that show, it was the same fandom I was matched on last year, so there was a teeny element of 'okay ::sigh:: but I've done that'. So when I realised that she'd also requested a fic in another teeny fandom of my heart, of a kids' show that I utterly adored (and already owned the boxed set of series 1 for, even if I'd put off buying the rest of the series until they came down in price) but hadn't spotted to offer, I may have gone 'eeeee!' rather a lot.

If nothing else, it meant I could buy the rest of the boxed sets and then make up my mind which to write. And, as it happened, they had come down in price quite considerably, meaning that it was obviously meant to be.

The fandom? Maid Marian and Her Merry Men, in all of its anarchic, proto-feminist glory, wherein Marian is female and utterly fabulous, and she's the one who leads the Merry Men in battling the Sheriff of Nottingham and his very gay for each other soldiers, Gary and Graeme. Dessie's request was a story in which Robin realises that he loves Marian and what he does about it, and I noticed from her Dear Yuletide Goat letter that she also loves 'five things' fic. It was therefore logical to write a story in which Robin tries to woo Marian in five different ways, failing each time of course, and attempt to capture some of the zany spirit of the show, up to and including the musical interludes.

In short, I learnt how to html code musical notes. I am still very proud of that ::g::

The end result was Woo The Day. Writing it made me happy and I managed to work most of my favourite characters in, including Gladys and Snooker, even if I didn't quite manage to get the Sheriff, Gary and Graeme, or King John in.

After I finished the fic, I watched the pinch hit list avidly and volunteered for a few as they sailed by before the list died a death due to the moderator being banned for spamming. Eventually, I managed to nab a pinch hit for twistedchick who, among her requests, listed 'any' for Primeval. I wrote Watermarked for her, an Abby and Connor fic set after the end of series 3, where Abby and Connor make it home. It's quiet and self-indulgent, but I know that twistedchick tends to write thoughtful, character driven and introspective stories, so I wanted to give her back something I hoped she'd enjoy.

Official assignments out of the way, I went on a bit of a tear, writing fics for people I love where I could, and one additional story for Primeval and Abby/Connor for someone I wrote the same pairing for last year. The stories were:

Last Christmas for moonlettuce, which is Primeval and Nick/Stephen (with some canon Nick/Helen). Apparently Claire accused temaris of writing it, which promptly resulted in Tem turning around and pouncing on me (thereby earning herself a ficlet). Equally apparently, I should stop thanking 'A' for the beta in my notes, because Claire's reasoning was that that was me betaing for Tem, and Tem's was that that was Aithine betaing for me. Dashes. Foiled again.

'Twas the Night for temaris, which is a gen Dresden Files (the books) story. Not a fandom I've ever written in before but one that she requested that I recognised. The only one of her requested fandoms I recognised. I didn't recognise any of aithine's, but more on that later. Tem claims that she has her suspicions, but wasn't sure, but just confirms that I should stop thanking 'A' as my beta until after the reveal.

Then I wrote Mistletoe Mishap for cadhla on the grounds that she had the good taste to request Abby/Connor Primeval fic again this year, and when have I ever passed up the opportunity?

I thought I was done, especially as I couldn't write in any of the fandoms that Aithine requested. Come Christmas Day, however, I realised that there were only 665 stories in Yuletide Madness, and that since aithine actually had her main assignment, I could write her anything in any Yuletide eligible fandom if I thought she'd like it. The conversation went something like this:

Me: I totes could write an extra madness fic and be number 666
Tem: It would have to be less than 1,000 words
Me: I totes could do it!
Tem: *eyes me*
Me: I could write Primeval for Aithine!
Tem: Consider it a challenge!

I hit 980 words and went like this \o/ only to realise that madness uploading had closed. But the main Yuletide collection was open, and so I ended up adding enough words that it qualified for that (like that's ever a problem for me - it's not like I ever know when to shut up at the best of times ::g::). aithine came online just as I was uploading it, and guessed straight away that it was me, but yes, I did write Christmas Caresses (Abby/Connor, R) for aithine, just as a small thank you for everything she's done for me this year :)

Because ninjas should always welcome in the New Year.

Still watching this and it is utterly, irredeemably bad. And consequently it is utterly, irredeemably awesomesauce! And I am very pleased that for once, the female heroine plumped for the middleaged but kind of cute Japanese character rather than the aged American lothario, and I am on tenterhooks to see if he makes it to the end of the movie.

But even that has nothing on the great love between Mega Shark and Giant Octopus. Their love crosses oceans, and species barriers! Dudes. Totes doing it!

God, I am so articulate sometimes.

I have mail to reply to and comments to reply to, but ma brane, she is ded, ded, ded. So those things are going to have to wait until I'm capable of coherent thought. About to leave to go and see Sherlock Holmes with ma best girls (and the Nibble) but in the interim, I've seen people doing this and it amuses me, largely because I think I really am that transparent.

Guess the Yuletide fic wot I wrote.

I'll give you a hint. I wrote six stories in total, at least two of them in fandoms I've never written before. Maybe more. I mentioned the 'brane ded' thing, right? (And as an aside, I was talking to temaris on Boxing Day wherein she expressed some surprise that I could have forgotten the things I've written. "I'd never do that," she said. "... Apart from the one time I had to send you something and ask 'did I write this?'."

That amused me.)

Anyhoo, I think it's fairly transparent but if you feel like guessing and you're right, I'll whack a drabble or ficlet your way (in the same fandom unless you express a desire otherwise ::g::).

And committed is the right word.

Last night, I got a text from moonlettuce that can be summed up as 'save me from shitty DJs and their insistence on playing ::shudder:: dance remixes of every classic song that's requested of them'. After rejecting my first suggestion of 'kill it with fire', I was left with no alternative but to text her something to cheer her up.

Text her 24 times with something to cheer her up, because while Claire can text me random porn and fit it into one text message apparently my inability to be concise affects my 'it's almost midnight and I can't believe I'm writing Tyler/El Blanco porn' texting abilities as well. (And let me say now that you haven't lived unless you have experienced Claire's 'it's the end of the month, how can I use my remaining text message quota' texting of random porn to you.)

So below the cut is 700 words of Tyler/El Blanco porn. For those of you who have not yet experienced Claire's OTP, the fandom is Tremors: The (TV) Series, and Tyler is one of the main leads. And El Blanco?

Is the worm.

'Ware complete crack below.

( Once upon a time... )

Scarily, this is also not the first time I have written this pairing either, and for that I totally blame mmom and Claire, and since mmom is in fact Claire's idea and Claire's baby, that means I blame Claire. For oh so many, many things.

♥ babe.

Does anyone remember Patrick Duffy? You know, the guy who played Bobby on Dallas and the Man from Atlantis. Yes. That Patrick Duffy.

Apparently these days he spends his time discussing issues of world shattering importance with his best friend, things like 'what's facebook' and 'America's Top Model' and my personal favourite - Patrick Duffy and The Crab discuss threesomes.

Yes. The Crab. No, that's not a cutesy nickname. And I am so utterly gutted that nominations for this year's Yuletide have already ended because right now I'm slashing Patrick Duffy with a puppet crab. And it is to ♥

Thankfully all of these brilliant insights into the human (and crab) condition are documented on one nifty channel on youtube. Go watch. I've already had aithine giggling at me over IM.